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Mmusi, we like you and your party, but stop trying so hard. Try smart.

Dear Mmusi Maimane,

You had us at “Hello”. Your wise and intellectual speech. Your dapper style. Your vision for an integrated and functional South Africa. Face it; as an English speaking pale male, you’ve got my vote. I simply don’t trust the ANC or the EFF with my country.

And to confirm it, you had one of your DA Call Centre Elves give me a shout, and I even (stupidly) admitted I’m supporting DA. So you’ve got my number, you know my support, you know my vote, you know I speak English.

But you keep sending me SMS messages, begging for my vote.
You keep automated voice diallers calling me, begging for my vote.
You send me messages, in Afrikaans, begging for my vote.

Why are you wasting all your electioneering resources campaigning to me with all this attention when you already know I’m pretty much a banked vote?

Rather go spend all that phone call and SMS money on t-shirts or food parcels or blue berets, or wherever you can beat the ANC or EFF at their own game. Somewhere it will make a difference. There’s no difference to be made by targeting me.

I’ve given you all you ever need to know about me, but you can’t even build a profile of me for a properly targeted campaign in my native tongue.

You claim to know the people, but do you, really?