Hehe, the trials and tribulations of bachelorhood. Guys, here’s one recipe I’ve developed that will NOT impress your date:
- 1 Avocado. Ripe. (Buy them pre-ripened from Woolworths or else you’ll end up waiting two weeks for them to kind of ripen.)
- 1 Beer. (Amstel preferably)
- 99 Water. (The kind that can go in a kettle)
- +1 Beer.
- 1 pkt Maggie Beef-flavoured two minute noodles.
- 99 Skill.
- 2 slices bread.
- 1 dollop Marmite.
- 1 teabag with tag.
- 1 clean(ish) plate.
1. Boil water in kettle and then pour it in a pot at maximum heat on the stove.
2. Add flavouring to pot and then noodles. to pot I mean. Stir.
3. Stick bread in toaster at semi-burnt heat setting.
4. Open beer.
5. Drink beer.
6. Slather marg on toast when done. (Remove toast from toaster first)
7. Cut avo in half and each half in half again. Peel. Suck on salt shaker to try and unblock the moisture-clogged holes. Add salt and pepper to taste.
8. Stick fork into noodles, try get one to your mouth and suck it from the pot. If it’s not chewy it’s ready. (Repeat x3)
9. Strain water from pot, fork noodles onto toast.
10. Drink another beer.
11. Knife a chunk of marmite onto the noodles and mix it in as best possible.
12. Chop up avo and mush it onto the noodles.
13. Use remaining kettle water with teabag in cup to make tea. Be sure to get the tag to fall into the cup, making its existence futile.
14. Relax and enjoy GuacaNoodly Toast with Tea!
And there you have it. My most vile creation yet.
It’s not actually that bad, there’s just something that’s not right about it.