Let’s (Not) Get Retarded in Here

Brain Scan

The Guardian reports that BBC is running a TV programme that could help smarten up a few Brits. I reckon we could do with the same thing here… desperately…

“Doing ‘brain exercises’ such as watching Countdown, playing Sudoku or taking a shower with your eyes closed can make us all up to 40 per cent cleverer within seven days, according to research by a BBC programme this week”

So here it is: (my predicted outcome in parentheses)



Brush your teeth with your ‘wrong’ hand and take a shower with your eyes closed.
(End up with a smelly breath and a bruise on your head)


Do the crossword or Sudoku puzzle in your Sunday paper and take a brisk walk.
(One day wasted, and you’re out of breath)


Have oily fish for dinner, and either cycle, walk or take the bus into work.
(Spend the evening puking, be very late for work or just don’t arrive – 50 kms is a long way to walk)


Select unfamiliar words from the dictionary and work them into conversations.
(I used ‘parentheses’ above, yay!)


Go to yoga, Pilates or a meditation class, and talk to someone you don’t know.
(Frighten people away with your injured gait and overfriendliness)


Take a different route to work; watch Countdown or Brainteaser.
(Be late for work, fall asleep in front of the TV – there’s nothing intelligent on our TV sets in SA)


Avoid caffeine or alcohol; memorise your shopping list.
(A lonely Friday leads to you contracting a mind-control parasite from your cat. You forget the list and end up buying only alcohol when shopping)

I think it’s worth a try anyway – It can’t hurt to be clever.

Tags: experiment, intelligence, psychology, brain

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