So what better way to re-watch an old classic than to Liveblog it.
Here’s “The Terminator” :
00:00:05 What? This isn’t Star Wars?
00:01:03 Oh no, Johnny Five? Are you lost again?
00:03:57 There can be only one Highlander…
00:05:37 Couple cans short of a sixpack… Not Arnie! Plenty sixpack there.
00:06:25 What happened to “There can be only one????”
00:08:00 Really bad synthesizer muzak!!!
00:08:58 Crawling in my skiiiin!!
00:09:32 Product placement Nike. C’mon already…
00:10:15 That’s not MacGyver?!!
00:11:18 OMG!! Sarah Connor DOES NOT RIDE A SCOOTER!!!
00:12:00 Robot dress sense fail
00:13:00 Yeah, in a hundred years who’s gonna care?
00:14:40 Was that Richard Stallman?
00:15:40 Assassination fail
00:18:00 Johnny Five looks pissed off.
00:19:00 Skynet’s laser targeting and shooting algorithm sucks.
00:22:00 Token big-hair scene
00:25:00 Talking to a machine – there’s a pattern about to play out here.
00:28:54 Not the iPod. Definitely not.
00:30:55 Machines need love too? Maybe not this one…
00:34:25 He took four shots from the sawn-off – this Arnie guy is not human!!??
00:35:10 “Come with me if you wanna live…” until you die of time-travel cancer anyway.
00:35:45 Terminator HUD – POKE RAMCARD SLOT – Now is not the time for Facebook games Termie!
00:36:08 A fucking Terminator on the hood of the car. Fuuuuuck.
00:38:15 Terminator plays Jeff Dunham with his voice. Dot Com.
00:40:00 Reese’s guide to Terminatorers. From the futurerers.
00:46:12 Damn, Reese, you got made, fool.
00:50:43 Arnie takes a cue from Luke Skywalker’s cyborg hand.
00:53:03 Is my eyes red? Arnie actually looks plastic!
00:55:10 “He’ll reach down her throat and tear her fuckin’ heart out!” That’s not nice.
00:57:11 “I’ll be back”. You bet he’ll be back!
01:00:00 More bad synthesizer muzak.
01:02:23 Reese, Kyle Reese. Definitely not James Bond.
01:03:46 “I’d die for John Connor”.
01:08:12 Was that a Trellidoor in the future? They sure do make those things strong.
01:09:00 Future Sarah Connor porn photo sucks
01:11:25 “Fuck you asshole!” Sounds like Microsoft Text-to-Speech!
01:13:50 More Jeff Dunhamming of Sarah’s Mom this time.
01:14:38 A Terminator on a bike, wow these guys can do anything!
01:16:25 I sense a sex scene soon
01:16:45 Kyle Reese has never ever done the dirty???!?!!?! Say what??!?!!?
01:17:53 Kyle loves John’s mom. John’s mom has got it going on.
01:18:35 Technically, somehow, this sort of cross-time molestation has got to be illegal.
01:19:08 Linda Hamilton Boobs! KIAAAAA!
01:20:15 Hahaha Termie, they heard the dodgy danger-danger synthesizer music before you could get to them.
01:22:12 Reese gets shot – this is going to end in tears…
01:24:03 Terminator Elvis impression – truck driving!
01:25:38 Burn motherfucker, burn.
01:27:15 Oh shit! It’s not The Terminator, its the freakin Energizer bunny.
01:28:07 Gotta see someone about that limp, metalhead.
01:29:13 “On your feet, soldier!” Sarah’s hardcore kickass attitude is born.
01:30:51 Asimo can climb stairs!
01:31:42 Pipe bomb in the rectum and we’re having cyborg showers!
01:32:53 Pappa Bear is gone.
01:33:00 But not Skeletor’s chrome cousin. Persistent bastard.
01:34:55 “You’re terminated, fucker”. Off to the tin-can recycling plant for you.
01:36:00 What’s that boom microphone reflected in the ambulance window for?
01:37:03 “Gasoline por favor.”
01:38:21 Oh, so that’s where Reese’s photo of Sarah was taken! Cute!
01:39:00 It’s over. Doesn’t exactly scream for a sequel I guess.