To Di(rol) For - Shaun Dewberry

Dear Dirol-chewing-gum-toothpaste-breath-people,

I can’t for like to complain about Tea, and I can’t for like to complain about “Shoomering Reflective Body Lotion” (shoo, sounds like it can be from the Star Trek – maybe for invisibillness), but I can for like to complain about the chewing gum, because your chewies is the chewies I choose.

What the blerrie hell must I do with that big cardboard and plestik holder for the gums? In the old times, every time I bought the shiny new gums I put it to my jean pant money pocket – nice and safe, so that when I’m about to score with the cherrie I can quickly put one of the chewies to my mouth to have the Dirol fresh toothpaste taste which the laddies can for like to like, like.

Now todays when I go out with the Dirol new cardboard package I have to either dance with it on the hand, or leave it to my wheels. And then when I want to kiss the ~~beutif~~ hot chicks I haf to first take them to the wheels so I can quickly chew a chewie, and once they see my Cortina they do not want to be friendly with me anymore.

It are even taking up to the size of my sellular telefone.