Entertainment Music

My Joke Fest: 10 Reasons To Skip the Coke Zero Fest

{{es|Botella de 237cc de Coca-Cola Zero, comer...
Image via Wikipedia
  1. The name: “Coke Zero Fest” – what kind of a loser goes to a Zero Fest? Rather go to a Hero Fest
  2. Mass dehydration and hunger at the first Coke Fest (Metallica/Centurion) was not cool – I’m still thirsty from that one.
  3. There’s no such thing as a quick beer. 1 beer = 45 minute wait. And the bar “cooling off” period? WTF? All that does is create a huge backlog of demand and massive queues when it is over.
  4. Standing ankle deep in piss overflow water in the “toilet” area while Chris Cornell plays Blackhole Sun is now a fond memory. Not cool.
  5. Lies from Big Concerts last year – ‘Separate concession stands and toilets for Golden Circle ticket holders’ – Fork out 600 bucks and it never happened.
  6. Confused South African artist line-up. Again. And those 5FM presenters. Eish.
  7. Eyethu events will probably be involved again. This is bad.
  8. Bullet for My Valentine and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus have cancelled. Like Guns ‘n Roses cancelled two years ago. Low ticket sales are probably the reason this time.
  9. Rubbish rules, that aren’t even enforced when you get there.
  10. They keep moving the bloody venue around.

On the upside, you can go and get your money back from Computicket, which is a first. If I had a ticket, I’d be first in that queue, thank you very much.

Congratulations Big Concerts, 5FM, Nando’s and Jack Daniels – You are the proud sponsors of another complete musical fuck up.

Entertainment Music

Coke Fest SA Band Lineup

Apparently they have finalised the line-up of South African acts for the 2008 schnarf-Fest. Forgive my lack of fucken enthusiasm here:

WONDERBOOM, CRASH CAR BURN and LONEHILL ESTATE will only be performing in Johannesburg, and VAN COKE KARTEL and SHY GUEVARAS will only be performing in Cape Town!

Wonderboom is a perfect choice. They will be exceptional.

Van Coke and the Guevara’s will be great too.

I’m sorry, you can’t put the dreary monotonous boring punk rock of Crash Car Burn on stage in front of Korn, Muse and Chris Cornell. How sad and pathetic. Lonehill Estate I honestly have no idea but I doubt their northern-suburbs pretty-boy pop-rock could be that much better.

They should be using these events to promote our best talent right under the noses of international artists – the people with the best connections in the industry. Why do they try boost some overrated, sad-ass boring kiddie wannabe rock stars?

Oh, and Prime Circle, yeah, playing 3 year old, over-played, pop rock radio songs – very fucking nice.

To be productive, here’s a few suggestions for a real rock concert:
Taxi Violence, New Academics, Myepic, Deity’s Muse, Dirty Skirts, your suggestions?

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