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Poor Quality German Vehicles Plague Cabinet Ministers

2006-2008 Mercedes-Benz ML350 photographed in USA.
Image via Wikipedia

Science and Technology minister Naledi Pandor is the latest victim of unreliable and aging German luxury automobiles, a condition known in car manufacturing circles as the “H1WAN12 (Have 1, Want A New 1 Too) Swine Fool Panic”. Recently she too was forced to order two Mercedes Benz ML350s to ferry her growing ass from meeting to meeting, following the apparent gearbox failure of the two previous cars designated for the Minister.

The cars were both running with the enormously high mileage of 141000km and 106 000km which explains their sudden calamitous failure. The new replacement cars include the latest in ministerial comforts aimed at improving leaders’ ability to make poor decisions in traffic – metallic paint, command navigation, media interface, DVD player, technical off-road package, heated front seats, Xenon active lights, sunroof, run flat tyres and private glass. A spokesperson for the manufacturer, Masipa Dense has expressed shock and horror that the minister did not take the heated rear-seat option. The new cars were purchased at a cost of 28 RDP houses.

2007 BMW X5 photographed in USA.
Image via Wikipedia

In a similar yet apparently unrelated incident, minister Nathi Mthethwa was also a victim of German engineering when the 2003 BMW X5 and 2006 Audi A8 he recently inherited turned out to be “mechanically unsound”. He replaced these with two “BMW ministerial-edition” X5s totalling the humble sum of R1.4 million, or 26 RDP houses. Audi has declined to comment, but industry insider Jeremy Clarkson has indicated that Audis are driven by cocks these days, a fact that goes a long way towards explaining Charles Nqakula – the minister who the vehicles were in fact inherited from.

Not to be outdone, Minister of basic education, Angie Motshekga dipped into the public treasury for a more sensible approach when considering the nature of the unreliable and trouble-plagued German vehicles. She chose instead to only take one R900 000 BMW 730D and rather replace her previous vehicle with a more reasonable and cheaper option manufactured by Indian mega-company Tata: Her Range Rover Sport TDV8 cost a rather sane R800 000. Reasons given for the choice state that the 4×4 ability of the vehicle will allow her to visit extreme rural areas to ensure the children in those remote regions are given their half-bowl of miele-pap every morning before walking barefoot to attend lessons with no equipment in the open veld beneath the trees.

Collins Spindokotela, minister for the evaluation of corruption, has defended the purchases as within the rules dictated in the ministerial handbook, and indicated he would rather see the frivolous spending being made on good Italian cars which are “…just as unreliable, but much prettier on the eye.”

finance Rants

It Takes A Whole Recession To Stop that Ugly Bastard.

Chrysler PT Cruiser in Bangkok
Image by Ian Fuller via Flickr

News of the week is that Chrysler are *at last* going to stop making that most awful and ridiculous of cars –  the PT Cruiser. I can’t believe the world economy had to go into a harrowing downward spiral before they stopped making this ghastly thing. Then again, the car did have a large following in the “impractical-zero-common-sense-hood-gangsta-almost-bling” department. Personally, I wouldn’t call it bling. Bling is a Ferrari F340. Bling is a black 1967 Chevy Impala. The PT Cruiser, is, well, take a look at the picture, puke-a-rific.

Thank goodness the world came to its senses and forced a recession on itself just to stop Chrysler from making this abomination.


Motor Finance Corporation (MFC) Sucks

If you’re looking for MFC’s Contact Details, click here. (And good luck!!)

Citroen C4
Image via Wikipedia

So here’s a letter which I sent on Friday to all the email addresses I could find at MFC (motor finance corporation) following their ghastly service.
Email addresses included: (address no longer exists),
Jaco Kruger – (read at 2007/06/25 08:19:34 AM )(he got a fax too!!!), Linda Thompson – (who read at 2007/06/25 09:20:44 AM and responded by palming me off to Louis Masilo, who hasn’t responded), (hehe, now that’s a joke),
Steven Khoza – (read at 06/25/2007 08:21:52 AM),
Pat Singh – (read at 2007/06/26 10:04:42 AM),
and (address no longer exists).

Oh well, at least now its on the internet for all to see… I have to be off – in search of a new finance house for my vehicle.

Dear Sir,

On Wednesday of this week I supplied the necessary detail as part of a request for a border letter to take my vehicle, Citroen C4 SKC002GP, into Botswana this weekend. This was well within the requirements stated of submitting the request 48 hours prior to departure. Having received no response I contacted the call centre today (Friday) as I am due for imminent departure, as was clearly stated on my request.

I was assured this morning that everything was fine and that I would receive the letter via fax early this afternoon. I proceeded to phone again at least 5 times at around 2pm, 3pm and 4pm to ensure that I would still receive it. Each time I was greeted by helpful call centre assistants, each time giving out my ID number and each time I was assured the letter was on its way. At one stage I even had two call-centre assistants on the line simultaneously. I also spoke to Mr Jaco Kruger a number of times who also assured me the letter was forthcoming. Upon calling at 4:40pm the call centre was closed and I received an abrupt message detailing MFCs office hours.

I am now in a position where I am unable to take my vehicle across the border to my destination. It is also Friday evening which leaves little option for making other arrangements. Any arrangement I do make is going to become an extra expense which I will then have to bear. As you should understand, I am rather irate. Fuming, in fact. I’m also highly distressed and am questioning my choice of MFC as a finance house. This
is also reflecting very poorly on potential future dealings with the Imperial Bank group as well as Nedbank Group.

Needless to say I will be investigating a transfer of my business to another financial institution upon my return to work on Tuesday.

Thank you for your time. I now need to go make other arrangements for my early morning departure tomorrow. On the off chance that you receive this mail on Friday evening, a prompt reaction to rectify this state would be most welcome.

Should you wish to discuss this incident, please feel free to contact me.

Shaun Dewberry

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